Carb cravings?

I mentioned in my previous post how over the last year or so I have suffered from crazy carb cravings. I wanted to explain these and what I believe I have now learnt.

The cravings started about a year ago. They would always happen 4pm or later and they were insane. I would seriously overtake my brain. I would think about nothing else. And it wasnt just that I had the cravings I would binge. My eyes were bigger then my stomach, so i would buy a insane amount of weight. I would think eat to the point where I couldn't even lie down flat cos there was so much food in me it was too uncomfortable. And at this point I would think tomorrows the day! Tomorrow I am getting back on track. And the next day I would wake....and there would be left over food. Chocolate, chips whatever and even tho it was like 7am I would eat the chocolate or the chips....and thus the cycle would occur.

For a long time I really beat myself up over it. I blamed my body. Its cos I drink too much diet coke, or too many carbs. I would think why can I not control this eating like I could 12 months ago. During the time I never worked this out.

Then over the last few months I kinda thought bugger it...if I wanted to eat it....I ate it and surprise surprise this is how I got up to 145.1 kilos.

Over the last few weeks like I've mentioned previously my life just all of a sudden settle down. I got off probation with my job, I got some awesome feedback on how I am performing at my job, and then prolly the biggest impact happened. I mentioned I had been in a unhealthy relationship for most of last year. The break up was tough, especially as I had discovered a month before we broke up she had gone back to her ex. I was not only heartbroken but felt so betrayed. Then recently she tried to get back together with me, while still with her current girlfriend and then I also discovered she was involved with someone else as well! I kid you not! I couldn't make this up if I tried. And then it clicked. This person is toxic with complete different views on relationships. And most importantly I deserve more. Now its not that I think that I deserve a new healthy relationship (altho we all do) I just realised I deserve more in every aspect of my life. As I started to cut off the contact completely and realise I do deserve more I started to realise how much I lost myself in this relationship. And the losing myself in the relationship is all on me....no one else is to blame for that....thats my actions.

Now I dont want another relationship what I do want is to love me more and basically date myself :) 

Before the relationship I loved my "me" time.  I enjoyed time at home reading up on weight loss (blogs, vlogs, nutritional stuff etc) I enjoyed going to the gym or getting out in the fresh air and walking....listening to podcasts....catching up with friends and going to live performances etc

When we split up last November I struggled with that....it was kinda like how I forgot to rely on me and just enjoy me time.

Slowly as I completely cut of the contact with her I noticed day by day I was getting happier. I was feeling stronger and more in control. Over this easter weekend I thought wow I am really just enjoying my me time. I have been listening to a lot of weight loss podcasts and not only do I get motivation out of them....but sitting down and just dedicating time to focus on my weight loss is just such a lovely time for me...its what I enjoyed in the past and I am enjoying being back doing that.

And after I broke off the contact, I no longer engaged in the games and the negative space with her my carb cravings suddenly went.

So what do I take from all this? I think I have clearly learnt when I am not happy, when dealing with a emotional roller coaster I overeat and obsess over food. So if someone is reading this and dealing with some stuff and has the carb cravings what should they do? Honestly I dont think its anything you CAN do. You dont wake up one morning and go today is the day I resolve all my emotional issues and switch off the carb cravings. The only thing I can recommend is...look at your life. Is there parts of your life taking away happiness? Sending you on a daily emotional roller coaster? When ready...step away from those negative impacts. But there is no timetable....trust me I tried last year! I took antidepressants, I went to a psychologist, I tried every diet going. (trust me LOL) It was only once I was READY and then stepped away from it that I seemed to resolve the issue.

This was quite the rambling post and its definitely not the answer for all nor do I want people to think I am preaching...this last year has been eye opening...and just wanted to share my experience :)