So its been a really good week!!! After having a ridiculous gain last week I have had such a spot on week especially the last 3-4 days.
So I had started watching a channel on you tube a few weeks ago. Its a couple who lost 60 kilos each other. And they did it by not count calories....or macros...or carbs....or weight watcher points....they did it simply by portion control. So if they eat something....they look on the packet for how much 1 serving is (like half a cut or how many grams) and then they eat 1 serve of whatever it is. They dont treat food as "good" or "bad" but do focus on protein, low sugar, eat health carbs and fit in treats. I really liked their balanced approach and that you dont need to do "food tetris trying to fit in your calories/macros.
So I stopped tracking tuesday or wednesday and at the same time increased my water to a minimum of 3 litres per day. Its worked really well...ive not over eaten....ive eaten a lot of protein foods but also eaten carbs (wholegrain bread, sandwich thins, wraps and rollled oats) and today I woke up to a loss of 4.6 kilos!!! So my weight after hitting a high of 146.8 kilos is now 141.7 kilos. I set a goal to be under 140 kilos by June 22 but really should be under it by the end of the month. For anyone interested in checking out the you tube channel I am talking about you can check it out here The Collets
I also discover "noshu" products today. Low sugar cakes/brownies etc. I bought a premade funfetti cake which had 4 slices and less then 2 grams of sugar per slice and OMG so delishus! Its been my after dinner treat the last few days (113 calories per slice for those interested)
Also I finally saw a physio about my foot. Turns out I have a irritated achilles, I need orthotics and she is also going to do some work on my mobility in feet/ankle joint and balance. Anyone who has followed me for a while would know I have always had a lot of issues with my feet and previously wore orthotics. This tho is definitely the worse its ever been. But I go back monday and they will do scans/measurements for my orthotics and hopefully I will get them a week or two later...so at least now I have a plan. But I am not allowed to wear my gym shoes (only my shoes i wear to work which are orthopedic shoes and super supportive) and also no walks etc....at the moment....i can do workouts at home....like some upper weight work....squats...but definitely all low impact.
Not a lot else going on but super glad to report a successful week :)
Update!
Friday, May 3, 2019
So I havent updated for over a week. Last week I lost 1.5 kilos but when I came to update the journal blogger was down.
While this was all going on I had discovered the ex had not only gone back to her ex girlfriend but was also involved with someone else from her past (seriously i couldnt make up this chit!) whilst she was trying to get back with me. She then was messaging me most days even tho I hadnt responded for several weeks it was never ending and emotionally hearing from her constantly was upsetting. So I confronted her and told her everything I knew. She has a uncanny ability when even tho she has done the worse of the worse to somehow blame me for chit LOL...but I have not heard from her since so thats the good news.
But this did lose to emotionally eating and this week I woke up to my highest weight for well over 10 years. So enough is enough. I cannot allow this to continue. So back to MFP today, this morning i took photos of me in a bra and knickers from every direction (front, back, side) and also photos of me in leggings and my bra. I wont post either yet but maybe in the future.
This may be TMI but I am going to put it down in writing so I can look back at this. LOL. So after so many years of having excess skin. I no longer have excess skin (I have the tiniest amount on my stomach but that is all) But every part of me is now "full" especially my boobs haha...its super weird....I look forward to them in another 12-18 months of them being very unfull.
Monday night I have an appointment with my physio about my achilles/heel. I am hoping they can massage out the tightness in my calf muscle as i think thats what the issue is and hopefully give me some exercises I can do at home. I have been doing some and I have also been wearing supportive shoes (which have actually helped) but its still a long way from being 100% and at this point in my journey I really need to be able to get out their walking. But at worse hopefully they can gave me suggestions for the gym (I am thinking they will say bike, rower and possibly x trainer) if so Ill get back to the gym tuesday night.
Not a lot else to say. I am sitting down watching the new ted bundy movie on netflix, tomorrow I am going to see Aladdin (a bit worried about fitting in the seat but hopefully no issue!)
PS Just so I have it noted...my weight today...is 146.65 :( and my body fat is 45.7% time to bring them both down.
While this was all going on I had discovered the ex had not only gone back to her ex girlfriend but was also involved with someone else from her past (seriously i couldnt make up this chit!) whilst she was trying to get back with me. She then was messaging me most days even tho I hadnt responded for several weeks it was never ending and emotionally hearing from her constantly was upsetting. So I confronted her and told her everything I knew. She has a uncanny ability when even tho she has done the worse of the worse to somehow blame me for chit LOL...but I have not heard from her since so thats the good news.
But this did lose to emotionally eating and this week I woke up to my highest weight for well over 10 years. So enough is enough. I cannot allow this to continue. So back to MFP today, this morning i took photos of me in a bra and knickers from every direction (front, back, side) and also photos of me in leggings and my bra. I wont post either yet but maybe in the future.
This may be TMI but I am going to put it down in writing so I can look back at this. LOL. So after so many years of having excess skin. I no longer have excess skin (I have the tiniest amount on my stomach but that is all) But every part of me is now "full" especially my boobs haha...its super weird....I look forward to them in another 12-18 months of them being very unfull.
Monday night I have an appointment with my physio about my achilles/heel. I am hoping they can massage out the tightness in my calf muscle as i think thats what the issue is and hopefully give me some exercises I can do at home. I have been doing some and I have also been wearing supportive shoes (which have actually helped) but its still a long way from being 100% and at this point in my journey I really need to be able to get out their walking. But at worse hopefully they can gave me suggestions for the gym (I am thinking they will say bike, rower and possibly x trainer) if so Ill get back to the gym tuesday night.
Not a lot else to say. I am sitting down watching the new ted bundy movie on netflix, tomorrow I am going to see Aladdin (a bit worried about fitting in the seat but hopefully no issue!)
PS Just so I have it noted...my weight today...is 146.65 :( and my body fat is 45.7% time to bring them both down.
Whats my plan?
Thursday, April 25, 2019
A lot of people when they start a weightloss journey (myself included) want to do a "plan" they want a label.
Part of it I think is belonging....belonging to the keto community...or being able to access weight watcher forums....or weightwatchers group on fb.
Ive done it in the past...."im on keto"... "im on weight watchers". we want to belong and the honest truth is support and community is a important key for success at weight loss.
But when I successfully lost weight in the past....my weightloss had no label. I just counted calories, and exercised, and yanno what? It worked.
Now when I started the journey this time I was kinda doing a mix....some keto days...some low carb days...some calorie cycling and some carb cycling. But when I thought about this honestly that wasnt what I wanted. I am not on a 12 week plan. I wanted to have a long term view of this. And more so then focusing on a number of the scales I want my focus to be on "fat loss" and to have a balanced approach...not just with my eating but my whole approach to life.
So currently I am not eating "low anything". My calories are relatively high at 2285 calories which consists of 140 grams of protein and 195 grams of carbs per day. Here is how I look at it. I dont want to be skinny, feeling weak and a bag of bones, I want to have muscle, I want to be fit....I want to be able to move with ease, run, jump, and lift heavy shit. I want to eat as much as I can whilst still losing weight and not go down the path of "1200 calories"
So for this....I dont want this to be about losing 1 kilo per week or something....but about getting fitting and stronger and my clothes feeling better. That said I will also be weighing in but it wont be the be all and end all.
I want to live a more rounded life...exercise....travel....do things I havent done before....get out in the fresh air with nature....its so much more then just a number on the scale to me. Tomorrow I weigh in and over the weekend I will be back to do a thorough update on my week, my weigh in, my damn achilles issue my goals for the coming week.
Next week some time I plan on posting my thorough short and long term goals.
Part of it I think is belonging....belonging to the keto community...or being able to access weight watcher forums....or weightwatchers group on fb.
Ive done it in the past...."im on keto"... "im on weight watchers". we want to belong and the honest truth is support and community is a important key for success at weight loss.
But when I successfully lost weight in the past....my weightloss had no label. I just counted calories, and exercised, and yanno what? It worked.
Now when I started the journey this time I was kinda doing a mix....some keto days...some low carb days...some calorie cycling and some carb cycling. But when I thought about this honestly that wasnt what I wanted. I am not on a 12 week plan. I wanted to have a long term view of this. And more so then focusing on a number of the scales I want my focus to be on "fat loss" and to have a balanced approach...not just with my eating but my whole approach to life.
So currently I am not eating "low anything". My calories are relatively high at 2285 calories which consists of 140 grams of protein and 195 grams of carbs per day. Here is how I look at it. I dont want to be skinny, feeling weak and a bag of bones, I want to have muscle, I want to be fit....I want to be able to move with ease, run, jump, and lift heavy shit. I want to eat as much as I can whilst still losing weight and not go down the path of "1200 calories"
So for this....I dont want this to be about losing 1 kilo per week or something....but about getting fitting and stronger and my clothes feeling better. That said I will also be weighing in but it wont be the be all and end all.
I want to live a more rounded life...exercise....travel....do things I havent done before....get out in the fresh air with nature....its so much more then just a number on the scale to me. Tomorrow I weigh in and over the weekend I will be back to do a thorough update on my week, my weigh in, my damn achilles issue my goals for the coming week.
Next week some time I plan on posting my thorough short and long term goals.
Carb cravings?
Sunday, April 21, 2019
I mentioned in my previous post how over the last year or so I have suffered from crazy carb cravings. I wanted to explain these and what I believe I have now learnt.
The cravings started about a year ago. They would always happen 4pm or later and they were insane. I would seriously overtake my brain. I would think about nothing else. And it wasnt just that I had the cravings I would binge. My eyes were bigger then my stomach, so i would buy a insane amount of weight. I would think eat to the point where I couldn't even lie down flat cos there was so much food in me it was too uncomfortable. And at this point I would think tomorrows the day! Tomorrow I am getting back on track. And the next day I would wake....and there would be left over food. Chocolate, chips whatever and even tho it was like 7am I would eat the chocolate or the chips....and thus the cycle would occur.
For a long time I really beat myself up over it. I blamed my body. Its cos I drink too much diet coke, or too many carbs. I would think why can I not control this eating like I could 12 months ago. During the time I never worked this out.
Then over the last few months I kinda thought bugger it...if I wanted to eat it....I ate it and surprise surprise this is how I got up to 145.1 kilos.
Over the last few weeks like I've mentioned previously my life just all of a sudden settle down. I got off probation with my job, I got some awesome feedback on how I am performing at my job, and then prolly the biggest impact happened. I mentioned I had been in a unhealthy relationship for most of last year. The break up was tough, especially as I had discovered a month before we broke up she had gone back to her ex. I was not only heartbroken but felt so betrayed. Then recently she tried to get back together with me, while still with her current girlfriend and then I also discovered she was involved with someone else as well! I kid you not! I couldn't make this up if I tried. And then it clicked. This person is toxic with complete different views on relationships. And most importantly I deserve more. Now its not that I think that I deserve a new healthy relationship (altho we all do) I just realised I deserve more in every aspect of my life. As I started to cut off the contact completely and realise I do deserve more I started to realise how much I lost myself in this relationship. And the losing myself in the relationship is all on me....no one else is to blame for that....thats my actions.
Now I dont want another relationship what I do want is to love me more and basically date myself :)
Before the relationship I loved my "me" time. I enjoyed time at home reading up on weight loss (blogs, vlogs, nutritional stuff etc) I enjoyed going to the gym or getting out in the fresh air and walking....listening to podcasts....catching up with friends and going to live performances etc
When we split up last November I struggled with that....it was kinda like how I forgot to rely on me and just enjoy me time.
Slowly as I completely cut of the contact with her I noticed day by day I was getting happier. I was feeling stronger and more in control. Over this easter weekend I thought wow I am really just enjoying my me time. I have been listening to a lot of weight loss podcasts and not only do I get motivation out of them....but sitting down and just dedicating time to focus on my weight loss is just such a lovely time for me...its what I enjoyed in the past and I am enjoying being back doing that.
And after I broke off the contact, I no longer engaged in the games and the negative space with her my carb cravings suddenly went.
So what do I take from all this? I think I have clearly learnt when I am not happy, when dealing with a emotional roller coaster I overeat and obsess over food. So if someone is reading this and dealing with some stuff and has the carb cravings what should they do? Honestly I dont think its anything you CAN do. You dont wake up one morning and go today is the day I resolve all my emotional issues and switch off the carb cravings. The only thing I can recommend is...look at your life. Is there parts of your life taking away happiness? Sending you on a daily emotional roller coaster? When ready...step away from those negative impacts. But there is no timetable....trust me I tried last year! I took antidepressants, I went to a psychologist, I tried every diet going. (trust me LOL) It was only once I was READY and then stepped away from it that I seemed to resolve the issue.
This was quite the rambling post and its definitely not the answer for all nor do I want people to think I am preaching...this last year has been eye opening...and just wanted to share my experience :)
The cravings started about a year ago. They would always happen 4pm or later and they were insane. I would seriously overtake my brain. I would think about nothing else. And it wasnt just that I had the cravings I would binge. My eyes were bigger then my stomach, so i would buy a insane amount of weight. I would think eat to the point where I couldn't even lie down flat cos there was so much food in me it was too uncomfortable. And at this point I would think tomorrows the day! Tomorrow I am getting back on track. And the next day I would wake....and there would be left over food. Chocolate, chips whatever and even tho it was like 7am I would eat the chocolate or the chips....and thus the cycle would occur.
For a long time I really beat myself up over it. I blamed my body. Its cos I drink too much diet coke, or too many carbs. I would think why can I not control this eating like I could 12 months ago. During the time I never worked this out.
Then over the last few months I kinda thought bugger it...if I wanted to eat it....I ate it and surprise surprise this is how I got up to 145.1 kilos.
Over the last few weeks like I've mentioned previously my life just all of a sudden settle down. I got off probation with my job, I got some awesome feedback on how I am performing at my job, and then prolly the biggest impact happened. I mentioned I had been in a unhealthy relationship for most of last year. The break up was tough, especially as I had discovered a month before we broke up she had gone back to her ex. I was not only heartbroken but felt so betrayed. Then recently she tried to get back together with me, while still with her current girlfriend and then I also discovered she was involved with someone else as well! I kid you not! I couldn't make this up if I tried. And then it clicked. This person is toxic with complete different views on relationships. And most importantly I deserve more. Now its not that I think that I deserve a new healthy relationship (altho we all do) I just realised I deserve more in every aspect of my life. As I started to cut off the contact completely and realise I do deserve more I started to realise how much I lost myself in this relationship. And the losing myself in the relationship is all on me....no one else is to blame for that....thats my actions.
Now I dont want another relationship what I do want is to love me more and basically date myself :)
Before the relationship I loved my "me" time. I enjoyed time at home reading up on weight loss (blogs, vlogs, nutritional stuff etc) I enjoyed going to the gym or getting out in the fresh air and walking....listening to podcasts....catching up with friends and going to live performances etc
When we split up last November I struggled with that....it was kinda like how I forgot to rely on me and just enjoy me time.
Slowly as I completely cut of the contact with her I noticed day by day I was getting happier. I was feeling stronger and more in control. Over this easter weekend I thought wow I am really just enjoying my me time. I have been listening to a lot of weight loss podcasts and not only do I get motivation out of them....but sitting down and just dedicating time to focus on my weight loss is just such a lovely time for me...its what I enjoyed in the past and I am enjoying being back doing that.
And after I broke off the contact, I no longer engaged in the games and the negative space with her my carb cravings suddenly went.
So what do I take from all this? I think I have clearly learnt when I am not happy, when dealing with a emotional roller coaster I overeat and obsess over food. So if someone is reading this and dealing with some stuff and has the carb cravings what should they do? Honestly I dont think its anything you CAN do. You dont wake up one morning and go today is the day I resolve all my emotional issues and switch off the carb cravings. The only thing I can recommend is...look at your life. Is there parts of your life taking away happiness? Sending you on a daily emotional roller coaster? When ready...step away from those negative impacts. But there is no timetable....trust me I tried last year! I took antidepressants, I went to a psychologist, I tried every diet going. (trust me LOL) It was only once I was READY and then stepped away from it that I seemed to resolve the issue.
This was quite the rambling post and its definitely not the answer for all nor do I want people to think I am preaching...this last year has been eye opening...and just wanted to share my experience :)
Welcome :)
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Welcome!
For those who have stumbled across this blog and have no idea who I am - let me introduce myself :) My name is Kazz, I am 51 years old, a independent, stubborn and single woman on a weight loss journey.
Yes this is a dreaded weight loss journal...with the word "journey" in the title. So many in the weight loss community hate the word "journey"...Im not sure why. To me it is a journey....a never ending journey with lots of twists and turns....lots of bumps in the road...and occassionally even a dead end road but you can always do a U turn and get out of that dead end road :)
SO. A bit about my weight loss journey. Skinny active child. I then started gaining in my teens, diagnosed with PCOS in my 20's. And by the age of about 39 I reached 173.1 kilos (380 pounds) I then worked on it for the next 6 years and lost 94 kilos (206 pounds) and got down to 79 kilos. Then life threw me a few curve balls. And i gained back 54 kilos!!! I
n October 2016 I weighed in at 133.6 kilos and 16 months later I got back down to 102.5 kilos. Life was good. I was so close to double digits. I was fitting in size 14-16 tops...I was loving life. Then I got involved in a relationship. Now this post is not to bash that relationship...but the honest truth is it was a unhealthy relationship full of manipulation and a lot of dishonesty. Whilst it ended in November 2018 I still get messages from this person swinging from I miss you type messages....to calling me names. In amongst all of that I then got made redundant from my job of 17 years. Trust me the last half of 2018 was crazy, full of stress and uncertainty. Mid January I started a new job and its taken me a full 3 months to get to the point in my job where I have enough self belief in myself to know I can do this job and do it long term, and just in the last week or so I got off probation (yay!!!)
As I got off probation I made a decision I was no longer going to interact with the person I broke up with. And something funny happened. I did something in a positive way to put my life in control and suddenly other things fell into place, work felt better, my relationships with others (family/friends) I realised were a total blessing, and I then booked a overseas trip to Europe for next february, and then I was like...BUGGER THIS.... I will not allow that one crappy relationship deter me from living my best life. And like *snap* after 12 months of so of having uncontrollable carb cravings I was in such a positive frame of mind I knew this time I was doing it and when I went on that trip in 10 months time I was not only going to be smaller (not at goal but well on my way to goal) but I was also going to be fit enough to walk 20-30k steps per day seeing all that great things Europe has to offer.
So I got back on track on April 12 2019. How did I feel at this point? Physically I had so many issues...my achilles was injured, the soles of my feet ache consistently even at night when lying in bed they are still sore, my ankle joints had got stiff, simple walks were a effort, pain in my hamstring and calves and just so DAMN tired and lacking motivation for everything all the time. So I weighed in....and weighed in at 145.1 kilos.
Week one is now done. I didnt do anything specific except try to eat a bit better. I was still eating a lot of carbs. But I weighed in at the end of week one feeling empowered, and proactive and positive with a loss of 2.3 kilos (yay me) weighing in at 142.8 kilos.
I am now on to day 3 of week 2. This week nutrition wise I am knuckling down. I know from previous experience works for my body, and thats calorie/carb cycling. I dont want to put any ridiculous stress and expectations on to myself. But my first long term goal is to get under 110 kilos by February 28 when I fly out to Europe. 44 week and 5 days to go!!!
I will be posting in here regularly, Writing and processing my thoughts is so beneficial to my journey.
If your interested follow my journey and if you want to see me on instagram you can find me under "kazzsjourney" until next time my friends!
For those who have stumbled across this blog and have no idea who I am - let me introduce myself :) My name is Kazz, I am 51 years old, a independent, stubborn and single woman on a weight loss journey.
Yes this is a dreaded weight loss journal...with the word "journey" in the title. So many in the weight loss community hate the word "journey"...Im not sure why. To me it is a journey....a never ending journey with lots of twists and turns....lots of bumps in the road...and occassionally even a dead end road but you can always do a U turn and get out of that dead end road :)
SO. A bit about my weight loss journey. Skinny active child. I then started gaining in my teens, diagnosed with PCOS in my 20's. And by the age of about 39 I reached 173.1 kilos (380 pounds) I then worked on it for the next 6 years and lost 94 kilos (206 pounds) and got down to 79 kilos. Then life threw me a few curve balls. And i gained back 54 kilos!!! I
n October 2016 I weighed in at 133.6 kilos and 16 months later I got back down to 102.5 kilos. Life was good. I was so close to double digits. I was fitting in size 14-16 tops...I was loving life. Then I got involved in a relationship. Now this post is not to bash that relationship...but the honest truth is it was a unhealthy relationship full of manipulation and a lot of dishonesty. Whilst it ended in November 2018 I still get messages from this person swinging from I miss you type messages....to calling me names. In amongst all of that I then got made redundant from my job of 17 years. Trust me the last half of 2018 was crazy, full of stress and uncertainty. Mid January I started a new job and its taken me a full 3 months to get to the point in my job where I have enough self belief in myself to know I can do this job and do it long term, and just in the last week or so I got off probation (yay!!!)
As I got off probation I made a decision I was no longer going to interact with the person I broke up with. And something funny happened. I did something in a positive way to put my life in control and suddenly other things fell into place, work felt better, my relationships with others (family/friends) I realised were a total blessing, and I then booked a overseas trip to Europe for next february, and then I was like...BUGGER THIS.... I will not allow that one crappy relationship deter me from living my best life. And like *snap* after 12 months of so of having uncontrollable carb cravings I was in such a positive frame of mind I knew this time I was doing it and when I went on that trip in 10 months time I was not only going to be smaller (not at goal but well on my way to goal) but I was also going to be fit enough to walk 20-30k steps per day seeing all that great things Europe has to offer.
So I got back on track on April 12 2019. How did I feel at this point? Physically I had so many issues...my achilles was injured, the soles of my feet ache consistently even at night when lying in bed they are still sore, my ankle joints had got stiff, simple walks were a effort, pain in my hamstring and calves and just so DAMN tired and lacking motivation for everything all the time. So I weighed in....and weighed in at 145.1 kilos.
Week one is now done. I didnt do anything specific except try to eat a bit better. I was still eating a lot of carbs. But I weighed in at the end of week one feeling empowered, and proactive and positive with a loss of 2.3 kilos (yay me) weighing in at 142.8 kilos.
I am now on to day 3 of week 2. This week nutrition wise I am knuckling down. I know from previous experience works for my body, and thats calorie/carb cycling. I dont want to put any ridiculous stress and expectations on to myself. But my first long term goal is to get under 110 kilos by February 28 when I fly out to Europe. 44 week and 5 days to go!!!
I will be posting in here regularly, Writing and processing my thoughts is so beneficial to my journey.
If your interested follow my journey and if you want to see me on instagram you can find me under "kazzsjourney" until next time my friends!
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